journal #1

If I was to be able to ask David Foster Wallace questions in class I think I would end up offending him. My main question is why did he choose the tone of the paper that he did. Why did you use the disgusting diction you used? I personally feel like he talks down on the reader the entire time, and he overexplains things like he assumes the reader is an idiot. I would also ask why he even cares so much about the lobsters. Why does he care so much? Why does it bother you so much that you would compare boiling a lobster at a festival to slaughtering a cow in front of everyone? I feel like he is extremely dramatic. Why not use this anger to fight for something bigger like feedlots and slaughterhouses? Also, why didn’t he go and mention the environmental factors overfishing lobster is doing? Or how the Gulf of Maine is littered in lobster and crab traps to the point of hurting larger mammals? I don’t think his anger is correctly placed. I also wonder why he even went to the festival if he finds the whole thing so repulsive? Why go if you hate it enough to write this whole thing. My least favorite thing, and also something I would ask about, is why did he at the end of the writing start trying to be like “Oh, I’m not baiting anyone…” when he obviously was? He tries to change his attitude and tone way too late, and by the end of the whole thing, I really wanted to eat lobster to spite him. I don’t even really like lobster, either.

A huge limitation to written arguments and discussion is just the fact that you can’t hear or see the author. The tone may be portrayed incorrectly than how they intended, or things may come across meaning one thing when they really mean the other. Questions can’t be asked during the conversation, either. If somethings misread in the beginning, it can alter the opinion of the reader towards the author for the entire rest of the piece. In this writing, I was put off immediately with how the tone and diction were. In the end when he states he was just “confused”, I didn’t care because I had already gotten annoyed with him. When it comes down to anticipating questions, you really can’t in a way. You should know the opposite side of your opinions, though, and expect backlash or alternative positions. A lot of the time, too, people will ask the question of “Why?”, so you can prepare for those easily. Other than that, there’s no real way other than asking yourself what would you ask yourself.

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journal #2

My experiences with drafting writing projects either consist of chaotically throwing down ideas in a word document and trying to scramble to make sense of everything or everything going so unnaturally smoothy that my draft ends up being nearly the same as my final.

My revision process is usually pretty simple. It’s nice to be able to take a day away from the writing to gather back what the original goal was, then to go back and reread and rework. Sadly, I don’t usually end up having the best situations (because well…procrastination exists strongly in my life) so the break sometimes doesn’t happen. In that case, I have to try to rework on a scrambled brain, and a lot of times that leads to the whole “Ugh, I’m done with this. Submit.” attitude. When I get time to actually have a clear head, I feel my writing after a revision comes out a lot more concise than the other way.

Peer review is probably one of my favorite things about the writing process. That is when it’s actually done properly. I feel like in high school English, even if it is advanced or AP, students just brush off peer review. I’ve gotten back reviews that praise my writing just for me to get a mid-range B on an assignment when it’s handed back. When, though, I get back a review that honestly tears apart everything I put down, my end product seems more collected and not as dragged out. Yeah, it may hurt to see the parts I thought were good be called out, but if it helps it helps. 

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journal #3

I really think this section of reading was beneficial to read, because of how it plainly explained ways of properly integrating quotes. Quoting things has always been a huge issue for me, despite it being relatively easy to do. Like how it mentioned in one part about how quotes always change up as you continue to write. I always end up having to reorganize or just scrap quotes entirely. It’s nice to see that the problem is universal. 

Going and seeing ways of splitting apart a quote to use it that way was a good resource to get, and I’ll most likely end up using that way later on in my writing. I also liked how the before and after sample writing was given to us. I can always read ways of doing things, but seeing actual examples of what to and what not to do is good. Reading the “before” writing made me realize that I probably make the mistake of being too fast in presenting my ideas. To read the revision was really interesting. The sample went from something I would expect a high schooler to read to something I would expect to see in a journal article or persuasive piece. To know that my writing could be like that by using the tips in this section of reading makes me want to write more.
I’m glad that we have this book to reference while writing our food narrative right now. I’ll be using it a lot. 

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journal #4

The first passage I chose is on the first page and is the entirety of the second paragraph. I chose this paragraph because I can relate to how food and eating can be a burden. I’ve never not wanted to eat. I enjoy eating. However, I have never “lived to eat”, and I don’t really plan on ever being like that. Eating does get in the way sometimes. Especially when in school. High school mornings would be rushed because of the fact my poor body had to have something to get a jump start on the day. In college now, I’d end up having to nearly run to class because I never had time for lunch, but my stomach would be shredding itself. Now in the morning I just scarf down a cliff bar and tell myself that I’m fine. I wish at times I could just cut off that whole eating part of my brain and then turn it back on when I actually have time to eat.

The second passage I chose is on the ninth page and is again the entirety of the second paragraph. I chose this paragraph because I can relate to the whole ordeal with eating food for the sake of “cancer-fighting” chemicals and “diabetes prevention”. My stepmom’s side of the family had/has a ton of nurses and herbalists in it. I live nearly every day with at least one scrap of information about the food I eat being thrown at me. I don’t mind it, though, and honestly, it’s kinda cool knowing the cranberry juice we always have in the fridge is helping me improve my heart health.

The third passage I chose is on the 13th page and is the entirety of the last paragraph. I chose it because the things people are doing with Solvent and it’s whole “DIY” component are just what everyone else does with diets. I don’t see why people think they need to go and drink some sloshy liquid when they could get the same stuff by cooking for a hour in their home. And by an hour I mean and hour MAX. I just think is this just some dumb way of being lazy. I understand time crunch, I really do, but imagine living off of some dough liquid. I could not. 

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journal #5

Thinking as writing as something that will eventually become as natural as riding a bike or shooting a basketball is reassuring. It’s nice that the book provides templates, but I also understand how templets can only get me so far. Writing requires deeper thinking than inserting words for “x” in an equation. I think that it’s interesting how this book says to have good writing you have to include the writing of others. I can understand how it gives more foundation, but I guess I never considered having other’s thoughts mixed in with my own. I agree with how the book suggests writing like you’re always arguing with someone if you are to use other writing. Persuasiveness always helps add power to writing in my opinion. I also agree with how quoting others helps further enforce the goal of the writing. I like how the book doesn’t just give you tips and tricks, but it also gives support to its claims. The book essentially goes and does what it’s telling you to do. The use of famous people and famous writing as examples for the “they say” technic was a good idea, and I found it convincing and helpful. The “they say, I say” idea is one I’m going to keep up with. It’s fun to be able to almost be controversial, but not too controversial. 

The book addressing templates and plagiarism was a good addition and reference. I really like how the book keeps inforcing the idea of “yeah templets are good, but think deeper”. I always like having outlines and help, but I always have liked branching out and going wild with what I want. Also, I’ve thought sometimes with building off of other people was always a little fishy, but knowing if I properly cite them that I’ll be okay is a good thing to know. Obviously don’t cheat off of someone’s work they put time and effort into, but don’t be afraid to build off of someone. 

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journal #7

The best global comments I got from my peers would have to be that I needed to reinforce my thesis. I tend to make a thesis, then go on and write to the point that I drift away from it. It was nice to have someone pull me back in and tell me they got lost or just weren’t expecting the points I made to come up in the essay. I think the same idea was centered around in my own global comments I gave back to my peers. I feel like a lot of us have our points and opinions, but those tend to come out fully after we’ve already decided on a thesis. I just said that my peers need to go back and fix the big idea so that everything flowed correctly and made more sense. All my peers (Danielle, Tori, and Gregg) all brought up for me that my writing seemed smooth, but some parts were choppy and some wording was off putting. Some of these points were put on paper but most were brought up when in discussion. Getting an overall feeling for my paper from the discussion and not just comments on paper made me understand the situation more. I wish we had talked more about if the points I had brought up were beneficial to what idea/view I was trying to put across. We talked a little about it, but it wasn’t the main focus. This peer review differed greatly from the ones I’ve experienced in high school. We all actually cared about giving tips and concerns to each other. Back in high school, we usually just left two word comments and left it at that.

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journal  #8

When it comes down to the revisions I made to my favorite meal essay, I really didn’t do much. I think because of the fact I wrote it casually and that I felt what I already had on paper showed the emotion I wanted it to, I didn’t go back and heavily alter anything. I think if I had drastically changed anything, I would have elaborated more on how college has changed my opinion on eating and food in general. I think my current living situation really has made my value home cooking more than ever before. I know that in high school I never revised other than grammar mistakes, but now here in college I’m looking more into if my writing is smooth and if it makes since to what idea I am trying to present. I tried to make this writing really good the first time around, so even when I did go and look over it, I didn’t find much I immediately thought I should change. With this project being more of a narrative, I didn’t look too deep into it like I did the other food essay where we had to use outside sources and almost persuade the reader. When telling a story, I don’t like to force it to sound super elaborate. I say it how it is. I could’ve put more of an outline to it possibly, but even then I never tend to stay to one. My approach was pretty much me throwing down a story onto a Google doc.

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journal #9

The first paragraph I found significant was the last one on page 3. In this paragraph, Mann explains the overall view of the Wizards and the Prophets (or Borlaug vs. Vogt). I agree with both of them, but I also disagree with the Wizards on some of their points presented in this paragraph. I agree with the Wizards when they say that the ideals of the Prophets do not take large considerations with those who are poorer or in more struggling areas, but I don’t agree when they say that by following Vogt’s views we are sending ourselves back into a path of regression and narrowness. I also agree with the Prophets when they say that the Wizard’s faith in technology and the smarts of humans is ignorant and full of greed, and that the Wizards are only making a temporary fix. We need to find a middle ground in all of this.

The second paragraph I found significant was the the first full paragraph on page 6. In this paragraph Mann explains how the Prophets were correct in their claims that the Wizard’s solution would be destructive and not work. I really like this paragraph because I agree fully with what’s going on. Mann talks about how the Wizard’s course of action resulted in massive pollution and greed for land. I wouldn’t expect anything different. Going and forcing a huge surge of production from farmland only goes and creates damage and, like the Prophets said, is only a temporary fix. With food becoming easier to get again, and people making more money because of it, the issue is just going to come back around eventually. 

The third paragraph I found significant was the first full paragraph on page 8. In this paragraph Mann tells us how runoff and water pollution cause eutrophication, or mass blooming of algae which results in massive die offs. I agreed with the idea of this paragraph because I can personally attest to the damage too much nitrogen in the water can cause to the Gulf of Mexico. Living in Alabama, I’ve been to the beach multiple times while there are huge algae blooms as a result of the Mississippi river being polluted from farms up north. It’s even gotten to the point we can’t swim in the water because of all the dead animals in it. I think it’s insane how 40% of all fertilizer thrown out on fields in the past 60 years hasn’t been absorbed and instead has ended up in the waterways. Knowing this makes me disagree even more with the Wizards idea of just over farming land.

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journal #10

The first paragraph I found significant was the first full paragraph on page 4. In this paragraph, Pollan talks about the reasons why there has been a decline in home cooking. My view here flip-flops. I do agree that the advancement and push for more pre-made foods has erased the need to cook from scratch, and how technology is a huge factor in cutting out prep-time and need to even make things anymore. However, I really don’t like, as much as it may be true, him pushing in the idea of women working outside the homing being a reason there is a decline in home cooking. Both men and women can cook. This has been going on since the beginning of time. Sure, people aren’t as sexist and oppressive as they have been in the past, but just because a woman isn’t cooking, doesn’t mean someone else in the house can’t do it. Women being in or out of the kitchen shouldn’t factor into the productivity of what’s happening in it. 

The second paragraph I found significant was the first full paragraph on page 5. In this paragraph, Pollan brings in an example of a failed attempt at flipping a potato pancake in one of Julia Child’s episodes. I agree with the big idea of this paragraph. I definitely think that the only way of doing something is to just do it. This is shown really well with how Child goes and pushes the point of not being scared to try, and because of this, the viewers are less timid to dig into old recipes or those new ones that serve as a bigger challenge than others. However, I don’t like how he’s still sticking to the whole “woman in the kitchen” thing. It’s just a personal thing, but I think Pollan has good points but he just ruins them when he follows up with his stubborn view of women being the only ones responsible for the food decline or being the only ones scared of cooking in general.

The third paragraph I found significant was the last paragraph on 5 that then continued over into 6. In this paragraph, Pollan talks about how modern day cooking shows are aimed at “stay at home moms who are in a hurry and eager to please” and not really for those who just want to cook to cook. He talks about how in Julia Child’s show, you could see she was enjoying cooking. I really like how he points out how we shouldn’t be cooking to please others, but to enjoy the work of cooking and the satisfaction of the end product. I’m not against people cooking for others, and at times you need that kind of rewarding outcome that comes with the smiles and satisfying noises coming from your guests or family. I do, though, think that this mindset can lead to cooking seeming as a burden, which it isn’t. 

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journal #11

In this section of reading in They Say, I Say, I really liked how I was immediately given an example of what the section is trying to point out. I guess normally I wouldn’t think too much on how I was to bring up my own argument, but this really lays it out for me. I think it’s good to know that your audience should be able to understand what “they say” but they should also be able to understand what “I say” as well. Letting yourself summarize what “they say” so you can bring up points later is a skill I know I’ll try to use in my upcoming essays and just in the future in general. A good point here, too, is to not completely drop what “they say”, and to find a balance between what “they say” and what “I say”. You have to keep your readers on track. The providing of templets is always really beneficial here. It’s good that they provide templets for multiple different types of approaches like saying something that is common knowledge or trying to make what “they say” something you say.

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journal #12

Right now I’m pretty much into the middle of my paper. I’ve started to pick up on ideas for upcoming paragraphs, and I know what points I’m going to try to present. My own personal feelings on the topic of the overall destruction of the environment are helping me get the words flowing onto paper. I have a pretty solid opinion on the food crisis, and now with supporting texts like Mann’s, I think I’m doing pretty good with getting my points across. I need to get busy picking up more quotes to use. Right now I’m just going and throwing down quotes as I come about them, and I don’t know how fluid it’s actually going. I also need to start going and digging deeper into my own opinion. Currently, I’m working on giving background to the Wizard and Prophet situation. I think knowing the two big sides to the problem is important, but I’m afraid I may be putting too much into it. My biggest challenge so far has been to try and focus on my feelings on the topic. I want to rant, but I know that won’t help my case. Using quotes and background from the attempted solutions to fix the crisis is helping me. I’m also having a hard time deciding where to lead the paper. I’m meeting with our writing tutor to ask if my ideas seem like they make sense. I don’t think I’m behind right now, but I may get there soon. Learning time management with writing large scale papers is something I’m not used to, but I’m trying to figure it out. Having multiple papers at one is also concerning when it comes to falling behind on things. I think I have a good hold on this paper, but I would honestly like some feedback on my path I’m taking. 

 

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journal #12

This section of reading showed me how good it is to incorporate criticism into my writing, and how by doing so, I’m strengthening my argument. One takeaway from this section is how, by including the opposing side, you begin to sound like a more confident writer as well as a more open-minded writer. By only including one side of the argument, you shove yourself into a hole of coming by as close-minded. The readers may not care about your side if they don’t know why you’re arguing it. Another takeaway is knowing to go into detail and explore what the other side is saying. You shouldn’t rush an introduction. By doing this, you make your inclusion more meaningful. The book gives us templates to use as well, which I find to be useful especially with our current essay assignment. I also learned here how to go and property label the side I’m arguing against. Going and pointing out an individual can be seen as negative, so entire groups should be mentioned instead. Going and leaning more general terms, too, is a good way to not come across as offensive. I really liked the example of the quoting going back and forth with the writer’s opinion like a conversation. It seemed easier to read as well as more enjoyable. The last takeaway I found important is about making concessions. It’s important to be solid in your view, but it’s also important to make sure your view doesn’t come across as the almighty. Admitting good points on the opposing side allows you to seem less closed-minded.

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journal #13

This section of reading showed me how good it is to incorporate criticism into my writing, and how by doing so, I’m strengthening my argument. One takeaway from this section is how, by including the opposing side, you begin to sound like a more confident writer as well as a more open-minded writer. By only including one side of the argument, you shove yourself into a hole of coming by as close-minded. The readers may not care about your side if they don’t know why you’re arguing it. Another takeaway is knowing to go into detail and explore what the other side is saying. You shouldn’t rush an introduction. By doing this, you make your inclusion more meaningful. The book gives us templates to use as well, which I find to be useful especially with our current essay assignment. I also learned here how to go and property label the side I’m arguing against. Going and pointing out an individual can be seen as negative, so entire groups should be mentioned instead. Going and leaning more general terms, too, is a good way to not come across as offensive. I really liked the example of the quoting going back and forth with the writer’s opinion like a conversation. It seemed easier to read as well as more enjoyable. The last takeaway I found important is about making concessions. It’s important to be solid in your view, but it’s also important to make sure your view doesn’t come across as the almighty. Admitting good points on the opposing side allows you to seem less closed-minded.

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journal #15

Plantings – Dr. Frank Biberstein:

This narrative was about how Biberstein was thrown full into the pandemic and it really hit home with me, and in a way even scared me. I thought it was terrifying how he had just gone to college when the flu struck and how he had been sentenced as one of the people to go around literally collecting the dead. I can only assume he was around my age, and I hate the thought of me going and having to be introduced to that much death. I know that I wouldn’t be the same after it all. Especially because of the fact that you’d be in constant contact with the virus that killed that person you’re pulling. Something that really stuck out was how he remembers how he was hardly strong enough to actually carry the bodies. I’m glad that we live in a world now where that kind of action isn’t necessary. This, though, does make me think about how a lot of people aren’t taking this pandemic seriously because we aren’t actively seeing the casualties. We can see the numbers but are we really aware of the devastation this is causing. Only until someone you know is affected by the virus do most people begin taking precautions. If I was to ask him a question I would ask him if seeing all that death at the time made him more religious or less (because of how he was going to a seminary at the time to become a priest). 

Plantings – Arthur Duery Davis:

This narrative was about how Davis became a gravedigger during the pandemic after being a lumberjack. I was unsettling to me how back then coffins weren’t readily available so people were just getting placed into the ground with nothing else so that the virus could be contained. What made me uneasy, though, was how Davis referred to putting the bodies in the graves as a “planting”. I want to see this as a good thing, like regrowth and things like that, but it just makes the whole thing seem even more disconnected from the normal. The craziest part that makes me realize how severe this pandemic was is when he was explaining how he had to go and continue throughout one day dig the graves for an entire family of 6. I can’t imagine the emotional toll of both him having to keep going back or the family members watching their time slowly run out around them. It makes me think about the unseen side of all of this and how funeral homes and gravediggers are having to work so much at this time. It also makes me wonder if we even have room for all the deaths. If I was to ask him a question, I would ask him how he even stayed in the profession with the mental strain it must have caused. 

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journal #16 

Reply to Madelyn: I didn’t read your first narrative, but I like how you went and picked a positive one. I agree with you when you say it’s nice to see how people were surviving back then even with the lack of medical knowledge that they had available. I do wonder too how common these success stories were. If there were a ton, then it makes me see the COVID-19 outbreak as something that we’ll surely be able to handle. If this was one in a million, though, then now it gives me worry about the current events in the world.  

Reply to Jake: I didn’t read either of these narratives, but the second narrative really makes me think about this virus now and what it’s doing to us. We have no real way of knowing how to deal with this virus, and all we can do right now is isolate. It’s terrifying to be stuck in this bubble knowing that if I did get sick it could potentially cause a lot of harm to me and my parents. Because there are only experimental drugs for this right now and even then not all of them work. I can’t imagine being back then with the lacking medical knowledge trying to find a cure to this thing killing so many people. 

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journal #19

I can’t imagine the Americans working as volunteers for the Red Cross felt much else other than fear and hopelessness. They were drastically outnumbered, undersupplied, and morale couldn’t have been high. Volunteers had to experience so much death and suffering to the point where I think the only thing keeping them in the field was their selflessness and the want to help those who were helpless. There were obviously survival stories, and if one could do it then another one could. Even if you only saved one, that was enough. If I lived through this time, I would hope I would be able to take on the badge. You can never predict these things before they happen. I always try to put others before myself, but if going into the service of the Red Cross during an outbreak endangers my family then I don’t know if I would be able to do it. If not, then you’ll find me in the field giving everything I could to save lives.

It’s amazing to me to see just how much this world can do when brought together under a common cause. We hear stories on occasions of communities coming together, but this is billions of people uniting to help each other. Everything from the anonymous donations of masks and supplies to people singing between balconies to neighbors leading front yard Zumba classes just fills me with so much hope. In my community, local restaurants are doing free deliveries and huge discounts on groceries just to help with the strain the virus is beginning to put on us. 

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journal #20 

For this journal, I ended up deciding to talk about Jake and Jess’s. Reading how we all tend to agree on the fact that the situation then and now is a stressful and scary time is nice to know. It means we aren’t really alone in this. I agree with both of them when they talk about how first responders are risking it all and making huge sacrifices working with the sick. It takes a lot in a person to be able to put aside the risk for someone else they don’t even know. We all tend to hope we would have the courage to help others in times of crisis and to know that there are people out there that will step up to the task when needed. It makes me happy to know that while there are these risks that people my age are going and making efforts to help their communities. It’s cool to see the different ways we’re doing it as well. I really liked how Jake talked about how he’s seeing this as an opportunity to repay a community that helped him throughout high school. I also liked how Jess is working with the fire department, a group of people who aren’t really at the forefront of the pandemic relief efforts. I don’t know what it’s like living in a state surrounding the epicenter for the US, but I find it almost inspiring to see people that I know from class going and, despite the fear going around, helping those around them.  We need more people like this in times where everything seems so dark and gloomy to give back some hope. 

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journal #21

This current pandemic is a perfect example of how people act in the face of a crisis. I think it also gives us light into how we’re most likely going to end up dealing with climate change. We’ll end up waiting till it’s here and unignorable and then we’ll scramble to try to fix it then. It’ll be just as chaotic as the attempts to stop the spread of coronavirus, and we’ll have the rule breakers and the doomsday preppers and the fear-mongering and it might end up resulting in the fixing of the climate, but I doubt it. The only reason we’ve moved so fast with trying to slow and figure out the virus is that it’s actively killing people in masses. When Earth hits his carrying capacity, then we’ll see the same type of urgency as we’re seeing now. Just like this virus, we don’t know if what we’re doing will actually get rid of it. I know that we’ll all come together during a crisis. It’s nice seeing what people are willing to do to save something or someone, especially if it isn’t for their benefit. There are differences, though, between the pandemic and climate change. We haven’t had this strain (COVID-19) causing harm to us for tens of years, but we’ve known about climate change for that long and haven’t really put the biggest efforts into combating it. People tend to not deal with problems until it actively affects them, and this pandemic is showing its colors while climate change is silently ramping up. We can only see some of the effects of climate change and even then a lot of people don’t think it affects them so they don’t care. This virus is proving to be deadly, and that scared people into action because they believe it can and will affect them. 

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journal #22

I’m more just questioning how they even knew to do the things they did. They had some weird ways of keeping themselves well, and I found it interesting. It seems the family had past knowledge of keeping illness at bay. The killing of the cat, as bad as the image is, makes sense if the disease was carried by the flies. Was it carried by flies? I don’t think it was. I think the isolation kept them from not getting sick. The other things might have helped with immune-boosting. Is this all based on wives’ tales? I feel like the whole thing was kinda drastic, but at the same time, it worked.
The images that stand out the most are the cutting of hair to the scalp, the cutting of a cat’s throat, and the bloody X on the door. The flies also just made my skin crawl. It’s all so unsettling to think of these things. It makes me feel gross.
The parallels in this to what we’re going through now with COVID-19 are how they isolated themselves from everyone. They sang to entertain themselves while being locked up. They also were trying to find ways to combat a disease that had no cure like how coronavirus has no cure. We use masks and medicines to try to fix it. My family takes immune system boosters like elderberry to try to keep ourselves from being susceptible. 

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journal #23

Mads: I think a huge point to focus on in her journal is how we were foolish to think this virus would never make it to America. We were completely underprepared to handle this virus despite us having since January to start putting measures into place. We know China is one of the biggest trade partners with America and we know that there’s constantly a large number of travelers coming from China into the U.S. It was dumb to think we were immune to this. I think too we polarize ourselves and make things political that we shouldn’t which puts us here in situations like we’re in now. I agree that change the size we implemented is nearly impossible to do overnight, but I still think it took way too long to actually put the changes into effect. Even now we’re starting to wonder if COVID had been in the US way back in January February.

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journal #24

Kaleigh: I think the biggest thing we all are talking about is the cat getting killed. I own many cats so the idea of having to kill one of them to keep an illness away makes me upset, especially in this case because they didn’t even know it would work. Did flies even carry the flu? I don’t think it does. I guess I can also see the purpose behind it, but it seemed so strange. I liked how she talked about the mental images she was making. The old kitchen stood out to me. I see a rural image and not an urban one. I also thought about how the singing reminded me of the people singing to each other off of their balconies while in isolation. It’s interesting how singing tends to be something we turn to when in desolate times. 

Alice: I had nearly the same questions as she did about the poem. I wanted to know if the flies did carry the disease or if the isolation was what kept them healthy. The use of herbs and other things too made me curious. Did that actually help? I agree with her when she talks about how really it doesn’t matter in the end what saved them as long as they made it through. Still, I do wonder about the effectiveness of what they did. Pathology is so interesting to me, and this would be a good case to study to see if medicine or more ritualistic things are better to use. 

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journal #26

For paper three, my revision process was definitely more in debt than it had been back in paper one. Like paper two, however, I hadn’t fully completed my paper when we went into peer review. I think this hurt me in a way because all my thoughts aren’t on the paper, and so the lack of direction doesn’t allow my peer reviewers to get the whole picture. It’s left in the air, in a way, whether or not my ideas point in the right direction or not. A good thing that comes with it not being completed, though, is that I get a lot more information on the tone and wording I’m using as well as tips on where to introduce things or go into more depth in parts. I ended up for paper three completely rearranging my entire paper. I took into consideration, too, the notes Professor Miller gave me. I tend to over summarize and tack on ideas that aren’t fully gone into. I tried my best to make sure things were to the point and that everything mentioned had a reason to be mentioned. I had a few grammar issues and repetition of ideas, but I quickly found them by simply reading my paper out loud. Overall, I think I did the most structural editing with this paper versus the deeper editing I did in paper two, where I ended up rewriting nearly the entire paper after my peer review.